Valentine – Be Mine!

By Selina Schuh

I’ve taught several vision board workshops lately, and while leading them, I find that I get to re-live many of the wonderful things in my life that began on a vision board. Since most of us have a desire for fulfilling relationships, my own marriage is one that regularly comes up for me.

When I was last single and ready for a new mate, I knew that first I needed to get very clear on what kind of relationship I wanted to create. And rather than focusing on the looks or income of my future partner, I concentrated on how I wanted to feel in the relationship. I knew I wanted to feel cared for, safe, understood, and emotionally supported. I also wanted to share similar worldviews and interests with my partner. That is not to say that I wanted us to think exactly alike, but I didn’t want a political opponent or someone who spent his free time engaging in very different activities than me. I knew I wanted to feel peaceful in my day-to-day life. Given that I was raising a daughter, I wanted to be with someone who also had children and who understood the stress that comes from raising a child in two households. And he had to have a passion for traveling!

I looked for images that expressed this on my vision board. Had I simply put an image of a handsome stranger on my board, I might have found someone that was good-looking but whose qualities were different than those I wanted in my partner. By focusing on the essence of what I wanted to create, I found images that matched this: a couple raising kids together, traveling and hiking together, and images that expressed consideration and caring. Through this practice, I was able to find someone that I found attractive not only on the outside, but who also matched the essence of my desires on the inside.

The basic principle I work with is that we get more of what we focus on. When we clarify what kind of relationship we want to create and then spend time daily visualizing and experiencing this future relationship, we can attract it more easily. So, as we celebrate Valentine’s this week (whether you are in a romantic relationship or not), ask yourself the following questions:

What do I want my romantic relationship to feel like this year?
Do I want to feel loved?
Cared for?
Taken care of?
Are there other feelings I would like to experience? If so, what are they?
Note all your answers on a piece of paper. More details may emerge in the days to come.

Maybe you even feel inspired to create a vision board for this topic. Find images on the computer or in magazines that express the essence of what you want to create and paste them on a large piece of construction paper or pin them to a corkboard. Place the vision board somewhere where you can see it easily – above your desk or by your nightstand. Spend a few minutes every day contemplating the images. And then watch what unfolds…!

If you would like to create a vision board with more guidance, I will be hosting one at Pathways of Grace:

I’m also hosting a workshop on how to ignite the energy flow in relationships that may feel stuck or frustrating. For more information, visit our Eventbrite page:


To learn more about my work, please visit:

Selina SchuhComment